我看《The Hours》

找到多年前看完《時時刻刻》所寫的心得。看完《時時刻刻》的衝擊過大。我無法用我的母語說出我的感受，甚至無法化為理性文字。這是頭一遭。





the poet. the visioner. he must die.

he is richard. he is proust to me.

he, because of the complex sexual jealousy,

cannot face the world. but he could see

better than anyone else.

he has to face the hours of loneliness,

and the longer hours after it.

he keeps on reminding the youth when

all things remain the beauty.

the pure beauty. even though it is just

a normal day.

he cannot fight against the life when

he sees it so clearly.

why. why must someone die. why.

because the death reminds others of the

beauty of life.

so he recalls. she recalls. they recall.

back to the primal scene whilst

they were still young whilst they still got

the energy whilst they could handle their life

whilst they could make decisions.

even the right to choose death.

o my proust, the most poetic novelist,

the most fictional poet ever, speaks of the fiction

mrs dalloway. he names her. he gives her

the significance of life. he decides her life.

always men, men, men.

dan names laura. he intends her to be brought

into a house, and becomes the house-wife.

she could determine her own life,

now i’m talking about laura , of course.

but she has to face her life alone

alone when she has to face each death

each departure before her own.

she avoids witnessing it, and refuses seeing it

clearly, so she is left alone. and alive.

claresa is there, present

of seeing the departure of richard the visioner

the absence she has to share with

laura, the eternal absence of richard.

and both of them are liberated from his death.

a pure liberation, a pure, pure one.

just for air. when virginia woolf goes out.

she drowns herself in the river

and her feet are bare...bare feet.

the most unspeakable freedom from the world.

from the real world...her life, she says, is stolen

from her...by whom we all care, but we never know.

she liberates her own life. violently.

she looks smaller. and peaceful, quiet.

but is she really so.

his eyes are upon the sparrow. and her eyes are so.

she slumbers not nor sleeps.

by her death she is freed from the prison

by her death she frees other women from the prison

by her death she names other women

she names them: women.

whilst they finally realise they could eventually

forgive themselves without worrying about the

view from the world.

they are free/freed



women.